Monday, January 02, 2012

Final Post

It is with a heavy heart that I share with my readers that Mother Dear passed away last week.

When last I wrote, she had fallen ill and was in the hospital. She went from there to a Rehabilitation Center and Nursing Home. The idea was to get her back up to speed and back to the assisted living facility where she had been. The diagnosis ended up being a bad case of the flu. An illness from which she never fully recovered.

She did make progress over the summer, sometimes eating on her own, sometimes forming sentences ("I have to go to the bathroom"), and pulling herself along in the wheel chair where the nurses placed her in the morning. She would wander the halls and look into all the rooms. When she got to the end, an aide would turn her around and back she'd come to the nurses station.

Up until two weeks ago she was still pretty good all things considered. She had wasted away to skin and bones but was still able to sit up and take notice of the goings on around her.

The staff called on Christmas Eve to let us know she'd taken a turn for the worse. We'd received these types of calls before including that she'd slid down out of her chair and "fell". My brother went up on Monday and sat with her while I was at work.

On Tuesday a.m., he came down to get me, telling me that we needed to get up there because she was going to die based on what he'd seen the previous day. We were going to meet at his house and carpool up since the drive to the nursing home is 45 minutes. By the time I arrived at his house, he'd received the call that she'd died.

We still went up to see her and I was shocked by the sight. It sounds a bit silly but I didn't expect her to look dead. I guess I'm used to seeing dead bodies after the funeral director has restored their looks.

The funeral went exactly as she wanted it. Just immediate family, open casket, and a short service by the rector of the church. She looked great, and we put her in a purple sweater since that was her favorite color. We were at the funeral home for an hour and then followed the hurse to the cemetery. It was 15 degrees and windy, making it very uncomfortable for those that were there. (I had put on thermal underwear so I wasn't as affected!)

She now lies along side my father as they stood at the altar at their wedding.

May she rest in peace.


Mom said...

I'm so sorry. No matter what else is said, it hurts when you lose your mom.
You have been an inspiration to me over the years. You honored your mom in so many ways with the years of loving care.
Much peace to you.
Sue (aka Mom)

Nancy said...

I'm sorry to learn of the loss of your mom. Been watching for an update from you, thank you for letting us all know. Your love for her is evident in your blog posts, she would be so proud to know all you've done for her.

It's never easy to say goodbye, but know that you did the very best for her.

Thank you too for your sense of humor in your previous blog posts. You were so spot on with some of the behaviors you observed! If you can't laugh, it makes this road so much harder.

It's been 2 years since my mom with Alzheimer's passed, but she is often in my dreams so I get to see her there.

Wishing you happy dreams!

citygirl said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I was just on here the other day, wondering how you and your mom were doing.

It must be particularly sad to lose your mom right after Christmas/before New Years. Just take comfort that she is in a better place now, free of Alzheimer's and suffering.

Take care of yourself - you need it after years of taking care of your mom. Hugs, citygirl

Maddy said...

I'm so sorry to hear this.

Joy said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I just lost my father on Dec. 20th and your mother's story sounds eerily familiar to mine.

ArichNY said...

I have enjoyed your posts on this blog. You have been an inspiration to so many of us. My heart goes out to you in this difficult time. I admire you for the love and care that you had and still have for your mother. You have my deepest sympathy.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to read of your loss - and I'm sorry that it's taken me this long to visit your blog again. Sometimes I can't read more about AD since it bogs me down - I'm sure you understand. ((( hugs )))

Anonymous said...

Thank you. i was excited to see your comment, it's been too long. I thought maybe you were blogging again and then read about your mom...I'm so sorry. You are a loving and devoted son who made his mom feel comfortable and safe. I'm sure she is very proud and loves you.

Tom Zachman said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sorry I'm so late. You and your mom have been popping in to my thoughts for a few days and I finally remembered to check in and see how things are/were. You are a good son. You did the best for her and she was/is blessed to have you for a son.

much love
Lacey, and Tom

A Single Man said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss (and sorry I haven't been by to visit in a long time). I lost my mom awhile ago and it is very matter what happens, we only have one mom. I still miss mine these 20 years later.

elanor said...

My condolences on the passing of your mum.
Your blog has been such a wonderful tribute to her, it helped me a lot when I was caring for my mum at home.
Thankyou for sharing the 'moments' with us.