Tuesday, December 09, 2008

There's Something Dead In My Bed

Mother dear gets on these "I gotta do..." obsessions. I've written about them before. "I gotta do the closets." "I gotta do the jewelry box." Translation: I'm going to yank everything out, make a mess, and you'll have to put it all back again when I've decided to forget about the whole thing.

Last week it was, "I gotta do that chest in the bedroom." She has a large cedar chest in her bedroom that is fill with all sorts of crap linens and things.

Well, it has a latch on it that mom couldn't get open. This was a convenient out for me since I was able to shrug my shoulders and say I didn't know how to open it, either. I told her that she would need the key and who knows where that was located. That frustrated her, but successfully put her off.

Then one night, in the middle of the night, she must have figured out how to open it. Because in the morning, there was all manner of crap spread on top of her bed and dresser.

Including a vintage mink stole.

If you've never seen one of these, it's how mink stoles were back in the "olden days." Like from the 1950's. Essentially, it is three mink furs sewn together. Heads still in place, eyes and mouths sewn shut. Kinda creepy, but I'm used to it since I had seen this piece around the house when I was growing up.

Cut to yesterday.

Several times, she brought out the minks to show me what she had found. "Where would I wear something like this," she'd giggle.

Cut to last night in the middle of the night. She comes in to where I'm asleep.

Mom: There's something dead in my bed.

Me: [Thinking.] Yeah, it's those god damn dusty minks you've been trotting around for the past week.

Me: [Saying.] Don't worry, it is just that mink stole you found in the cedar chest.


Greg said...

I had no idea that stoles left so little to the imagination - quite horrific. How tastes have changed!

Maybe you could mail the stole to Sarah Palin, as she seems to love having dead things lying about her (moose, bear, career I'm hoping).

It's funny how we are often urged by Gurus to "live in the present". Our Moms are doing precisely that, constantly coming across things anew. Mine always wants to show me stuff that I've given her about 10 minutes before, or introduce me to everyone as if it's my first visit.

Anonymous said...

That is so creepy but so hilarious at the same time!! Two days ago I went to my parents house and found my dad wearing my moms black boots up to his knees and her green and white polka dot sweater. I laughed so hard. He has no idea why I'm laughing, it makes it even funnier.

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