Tuesday, August 11, 2009

There Was "An Incident"

I checked in with the nurse today to make sure everything was going fine with Mother Dear. She told me there had been "an incident."

Apparently Mom slapped two attendants and tried to bite a third a couple of weeks ago. They were trying to get her to go to bed. They called the doctor on call and he prescribed some drug to calm her down. She's been fine since. In my discussion with the nurse, she felt it was probably the attendants' approach and that they have been holding training classes on the subject. I figured if they were close enough to get slapped, they must have been trying to physically force her. My opinion is that if she doesn't want to go to bed, wait 5 minutes and ask her again.

I'll have to keep on top of this.


Greg said...

It's worrying that they didn't inform you right away about this incident, especially if medication was prescribed. I feel very reassured when the carers at my Mum's home ring me up or email me to inform me of anything that's been given to her.

I don't recall you writing about any violence on your Mom's part before, but then I was totally shocked when my own Mum gleefully told me that she had shoved one of the other residents so that she fell down - I suspect that some of the genteel inhibitions of home are dropped when our parents enter a place like this - the pretense is over and they're essentially kids again, with all the playground tactics of yore.

Still, I'm sure you're worried at the image of your Mom being so distressed as to slap and bite. I would be disturbed, too. Does your Mom have a "Life Plan" or similar document at the Care Facility where you could write down your opinion as to how to deal with bed time?

citygirl said...

That is a bit worrying that you weren't informed of this incident earlier. I would like to think my mom's home kept us well informed but then again, realistically, there were probably incidents that we weren't told about.

My mom was fairly aggressive at one point in her progression. She escaped one night and was found by a security guard who she punched. It made me sick to think of my mom being so scared to the point of physical violence. But I guess it's a normal response if someone is trying to force/restrain you. Ugh. Still makes me feel bad to think about this.

Good to hear that they're doing some training. Sometimes a different approach or a "wait 5 mins and ask again" approach (as you say) makes all the difference. Funny how different their answer/reaction can be if you just wait and ask again!