Monday, August 31, 2009


Part 6 In A Series

All my life I've come up with nicknames for people — mostly for those who I don't know their real names. For instance, there's the man that visited my apartment for some afternoon delight. He wasn't a step inside the door when his delight came prematurely in his pants. Later I would ignore him when I spotted him at fundraising events and referred to him as Quick Draw McGraw.

There are a number of characters at my mother's assisted care facility. Today I will tell you about Gidget.

I know that this nickname is politically incorrect. You see, Gidget is a midget. Get it? Gidget the midget. I know, I know. I may have crossed the line here but, honestly, it's what I've named her in my mind and would never say something like that out loud. Except here, where my 10 readers can see. I could have used "little person" rather than midget but that wouldn't have rhymed, now would it?

Gidget is a pleasant sort and seems to like to hear herself talk. She was daydreaming after they wrapped up playing Bingo, looking out the window and commenting to all within earshot that it was a beautiful day.

A woman in a wheelchair seated next to her paid Gidget a compliment on her shoes. Holy crap, that was all it took. I listened to 15 minutes about those goddamned shoes. I found them in my closet. I didn't know where they came from. My daughter asked if I found them. I have two pair — these brown ones and a pair of black ones. I have to have them specially made because I wear a 2 and 1/2 D. On and on, and over and over.

I bet that woman in the wheelchair wished she had kept her mouth shut!

Also see:
Part 1: The Klepto
Part 2: The Slapper
Part 3: The Baby Mama
Part 4: Socks
Part 5: The Jackrabbit
Part 7: Twinkle Toes
Part 8: Pittsburgh and Tex
Part 9: The Bird Flicker
Part 10: The Imp, The Lesbian Haircut, and The Bitch
Part 11: The Bugaboo


LesaMM said...

A friend sent me your blog address, and I wanted to say that I enjoy reading. My sister and I are caregivers for my Mom, 87, with dementia/alzheimers. We experience alot of what you experience with your Mom. Does it help you to write it all down? I can't help but laugh at some ..

A Single Man said...

QuickDraw - that's hilarious. Humpf...some delight for you then. But what a story!

Gavin said...

LesaMM--Welcome to Alzheimer's Moments! I started the blog to document what was going on and to tell all the funny stories that dementia can create. It's hard enough so adding some levity to the situation seemed in order.

It also helps me from boredom. It's tough when you are trapped practically 24/7. The blog helped me reach out and make contact even though it is cyber instead of communicating with people in person.

I have to say that I don't think that it really helps me deal with it. That's what my anti-depressants are for! I'm a creative type so it keeps up my writing and story telling skills, too.

Anonymous said...

I think its an easy mistake for me to make, to think that I can and am able to cope with my Mom all the time. I'm glad to find you, its a relief to say I can't cope with it on those days when I definitely don't. Your blog is a good read for my relief too!! Thanks for the welcome, I look forward to dropping by. L.