Friday, February 29, 2008

The Naughty Side Of Mom

I've heard that one of the stages of Alzheimer's is the increased use of profanity. There have been a couple of explanations for this. First is that there are "nasty" dementia patients who curse in conjunction with an overall rotten disposition. Second I've heard of Alzheimer's patient who swear out of frustration, namely when they can remember something or know what they want to say but can't form the words to say it.

Yesterday was our bi-annual trip to the thyroid doctor. When we were getting ready to go, mother dear was looking for a washcloth. I reminded her that she had taken a shower the day before so that wasn't necessary. (The aide took her to the beauty shop and she had her hair cut and permed.) She tells me, "I want to wash my face and ass." Okay, then! One washcloth, coming right up!

It was cold here so I had mom put on a fresh pair of undies, then thermal underwear, and a regular pair of pants on top. Close to the time we were heading out the door, mom says her pants didn't fit. They looked fine to me, but she was clearly uncomfortable, and started to cry when she wanted them off and I was saying things were okay.

So into the bedroom we go to change out of those pants and into another. The problem was that she had gone to the bathroom before we were to go. She had forgot to pull up the undies, only pulling up the long underwear and pants so the undies were bunched up at her crotch. Once I figured out what was going on, we got things straightened out, and away we went.

Mom likes the thyroid doctor, and things went very well. He has shifted her from bi-annual to annual visits.

After the checkup, we went to their lab where they drew blood. I made a joke about the guy poking her with the needle. She raised her other hand, lifted her middle finger, and said that was for me.

So I got "ass" and flipped off by my mom in the same day. I wonder if this is a sign of things to come?


ArichNY said...

I admire you for the loving care you give to your Mom! And your patience. Love you!

Anonymous said...

My mom NEVER swore. Ever. But when she's had bad episodes, I've heard words from her that I've never heard before. D

Lacey said...

Yeah, it's funny, but it's not. I remember. This blog brings back so many memories. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or not (for me) but, oh well...

Anonymous said...

oh my gawd , i got to admit i am glad i was not drinking tea reading this post (my keyboard would be been spewed!! ) YOY u sure can turn a phrase. Geeze i don't know what this says about me..but i too have trouble manuevering undies with the long johns..just remember quicker - i wonder how mom would react to cute big safe diaper pins like with ducks on em - to keep those undies with the thermals..and by the way i think long johns are great for her.(and for me) I need em in winter !

she is a slight woman too right ? , tiny frail and that extra skin warmth is essensial even here in NM - its a dry cold , but it chills us leeetle ladies to the bone..