Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year!

Well I'm not sure there's much cause for celebration. I suppose the fact that we all survived 2007 is good news.

Some New Year's Resolutions:
• Continue to increase the hours that the aide is here to help out. (I still haven't written about that.)
• Blog about the aide(s) and give some insight on that for those considering it. It's a good option worth investigating.
• Rely more on my brother for coverage on the home front so I can do more weekend getaways and keep from becoming resentful. (I'm going to Florida in a couple of weeks.)
• Keep my patience.
• Get back to cooking more healthy meals.

The course I've chosen is a challenging one and I hope I can continue to rise to the occasion!

Happy New Year. May you all have a great 2008!


Cuidado said...

Happy New Year to you. It is difficult to do what you are doing but may the personal pride of what you are doing be sustaining to you.

Anonymous said...

You're doing a good thing and I think relying on others more is a very wise move. Thank you for sharing your insights -- I'd like to hear more about the aide.

Happy New Year to you & your family. I hope that 2008 is a great year for you. D

Mom said...

If your mom could I know she would say thank you and tell you how wonderful you are. You are honoring her everyday with your love and care. Do get all the help you can so you can survive. This mom who is not your mom appreciates all that you do.
Happy New Year.

Tilly said...

Hi & Happy New Year!

If aide in the US equates to our private carers here, I think that's a fantastic NY resolution. I certainly couldn't manage without mine even though it's now a struggle to meet the costs. Impossible to cope though without some "head space"! Unfortunately in most families, it seems to be just one carer who is often left with the bulk of the care and if everyone did a little, it would be so much easier. If your brother is willing and able to look after your Mum, I hope that you can sort out respite (for you) as soon as possible, and on a regular basis. It's also good for your Mum to have her two sons caring for her! (though I'm sure you do a fantastic job!!). The arrangement we had, was that I would look after Mum on a day-to-day basis, and she would visit my brother at Christmas, Easter and in June - to give me a break and also to give me free time for my children. I also work from home, so have had to juggle work somehow around Mum's needs - but when it came to the crunch, my brother and sister-in-law found a whole host of reasons why it was inconvenient. They simply couldn't cope with Mum forever touching and moving things, breaking things, or the streaming chatter that happens from time to time. My brother isn't a bad person but he simply can't cope. On the odd occasion,that he spends the day with Mum, he ends up being waspish with her - and picking up the pieces is harder to do later. After 3 years, I finally found someone who would stay with Mum so that I could have a week's holiday - but the cost was close to US$ 2000 plus the trials to see if it could work. I think it would have been much better if my brother and I had agreed that if he couldn't help out, he would at least contribute/pay for the costs of finding private live in care. I wasn't insistent enough - and it was a big mistake. Finding someone who is sensitive to the needs of those with dementia is not so easy - and it's not a question of plonking them in front of the TV. You can't have respite unless you know that your Mum is truly cared for, and happy, whether she puts pumpkin pie on the top of her ice cream or eats the lot out of the cat's bowl - it doesn't matter, it's her way and as long as the cat's bowl is clean - who cares?!

Good luck - I'm so glad you are looking after your Mum. My mum adores my brother and my uncle - who also believes that because she can't communicate conventionally, she doesn't need the occasional phone call or letter. How sad. They have chosen to walk away. You haven't - neither by the sound of it, has your brother. Bravo you! Tx

Gavin said...

Tilly--Yes, by aide I meant someone that we've hired to come in and help. It is helping me get regular time away not worrying that she's fallen, or wandered, or fainted.

My brother visits 3-4 times a week so they maintain a close relationship. He changed jobs several years ago (before I got here) to be closer and keep better track of things around here.

Florida is one week away!

Tilly said...

Fantastic! Hope you have a fabulous time in Fda. Tx