Friday, July 06, 2007

Nothing Serious In My Absence

My absence has been nothing serious, or should I say, completely serious. No funny stories or anecdotes to pass along. It's been the same old, same old around here.

Mother dear continues to work out in the yard, bent over for hours at a time, weeding flower beds and picking up leaves off the lawn. I tried to hide all her tools...the clippers, rakes, etc. have been placed high on a shelf. But now she does it all by hand. We have an "ordeal" every time I go out and insist that she take a break and have a drink of Gatorade. [The Gatorade has solve the fainting problems that two prescriptions couldn't.] The problem with her yard work isn't so much that she does it — she does a wonderful job and enjoys it immensely — it's that she doesn't have the internal mechanism to stop. Last week she fell down in the yard from the heat. As I was helping her up, all she could think about was the twigs in her view that were just out of reach. She had to pick them up!

My patience is still pretty good as far as repeating the same answers to the same questions. But I am getting resentful. It isn't fair that she behaves in such a way that requires my constant attention. Why can't she just sit down and enjoy the yard? I know it isn't her fault and maybe that makes it even worse...that there isn't anyone to blame or any corrective action to be taken. Instead, I have to act like a babysitter. If I go to the grocery store, I'm fearful when I pull onto our street on my return that there's going to be an ambulance parked out front and all the neighbors hovering over her. I resent that I can't do anything.

To that end, I had previously posted about activating her long term care policy to get some help. I'm happy to say that we have an aide starting on Monday! For the first couple of weeks it will be for 2 hours in the afternoon of every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Once we fulfill the deductible for the insurance policy, I plan to make it 4 hours in the evening on the same days so I can go out to dinner and a movie or just catch up with friends.

Really, the aide is more for my mental health and sanity than my mothers!


proudprogressive said...

That is good news YOY, good news indeed. There is nothing to solve the mystery of her "obsessional behavior" and more heavy drugs are indeed not a great answer. So bravo, my brother, for activating the LTC policy and using to meet her needs for care and supervision and yours for your spiritual and mental health. YES YES YES. You give her the greatest care possible, but without respite and fun you will burn out. And burn out is a guilt trip and just nowhere for a loving , giving son such as yourself to have to get to. I applaud you for taking this step. One identifying your only natural resentment and two not letting it build. So bravo !!! Good move.

Admittedly i was concerned over the lack of updates and am glad to hear of your very positive action. Without your "mental" health - she has nothing. Have fun, replenish your spirit. etc etc. You are a wonderful son.

fondly - pp

Mom said...

I am constantly amazed at the constant, loving care you give your mom. The never-ending dailiness of it all is overwhelming. Get all the help you can. Help will be the best answer for both of you.