On Memorial Day, we had quite an adventure around here. Mom when down in the yard. She'd been working in the yard and it was a very warm day. I kept checking on her. She weeded the new rose bushes, she picked up sticks and leaves around the yard, and then moved on to sweeping the driveway. She was on a mission.
In the meantime, I was down in the basement pulling out the summer stuff. I got the A/C unit in the window and was getting out the picnic table, chairs, and umbrella. It's when I'm on my last trip downstairs that I hear someone racing through the house. It's the teenager that lives next door calling to me that my mom has collapsed.
By the time I get up the stairs and out front, mother dear is laying in the grass with what seems like the whole neighborhood tending to her. Our two neighbors from across the street are both nurses and they are taking her blood pressure. All vitals are normal and another neighbor quips that it's better than hers!
I got a cold water soaked cloth for her neck and a drink of lemonade. She is disoriented but not enough to keep from focusing on her yard work at hand. She looks at the little piles she's swept up in the driveway and insists she must get up and keep sweeping.
After getting her revived and back in the house, it wasn't 15 minutes before she forgot about the whole episode and the power struggle began. She wanted to go out, I wouldn't let her. She negotiated, she glared, she expressed her displeasure. We compromised that she could go out in the yard as long as she only sat in a lawn chair. This wasn't a quick negotiation. It was a battle of wills that lasted at least a half hour. She tires me out.
But I have to tell you it is impossible to negotiate with someone that doesn't understand or comprehend the whole issue. When I tell her that the next time she faints, I'm calling 9-1-1 and she'll be in the hospital for five days, the threat carries no impact. When I say, "You can't go out because you just collapsed." She says, "I did not." And she really thinks that so I'm the ogre for preventing her enjoyment in the yard. I suppose it is like negotiating with a two year old.
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2 comments:
Hang in there buddy. It is fortuitous to have nurses for neighbors thats for sure. I will resist that human inclination to offer obvious advice..that you already know far better than i possibly could. What i will do is just send pure support vibes out to you and remind you what a terrific job you are doing in the day to day frustrations and issues. Nobody knows whats its like till they have done this themselves. Again on the bright side, hopefully she forgets you are an ogre shortly after you lay down the "law". Hang in there YOY. Try to get some respite if you can. Hopefully you have a structure in place, where you get needed regular breaks, even if for only a few hrs. And remember your invisable friends (us) too. Guess thats it for now - thanks for the update.
(((yoy)))
PP
I can so sympathize with you. My Mom lives with my husband and me and I go from being her worst nightmare, to someone she'd be lost without. As you know, some days are better than others! When I am really down from watching her decline into Alzheimer's, I play a beautiful song by Josh Groban on one of his CD's....called "You're Still You", it somehow shores up my patience and my ability to cope with what is happening to this wonderful woman!Keep the faith, my dear.
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